What you think is good?

Have you had something so good in your life you didn't want to lose it. You hold on so tight that it practically hurts you. I mean literally hurts you mentally and physically! But in the back of your head God has told you repeatedlly that he has something 10 times better than that and its all for you, you don't have to fight for it because he made it especially for you. However, because you are afraid of the unknown you just can't seem to let go of this "thing" you think is so good!

God has yelled it to you, he was whispered it to you, he has had another person tell you, he pretty much found every way to convey this message to you but you just don't want to listen.

I'll tell you where I am going with this. Every tuesday at my job we have bible study. So for the last month we haven't had it. I seen a lady in the hallway that attends also and we start talking then we see the leader of the bible study and I yell "I was just talking about you" He turns around and comes back my way and randomly asks  "Are you ready to teach" Of course I said no. Long story short we ended up in a conference room and he was telling me that God wants to bring something out of me and whether I want him to or not he will. It is going to be the easy way or the hard way. He then ask me what is my fear. I said the unknown and the future.

I will be totally honest with you; when I find something that works for me I stick with it. I don't want anything to change because more than likely I am happy. I am afraid of what the future might bring me. The challenges that I will have to face (Getting hurt and giving up something that I don't want to leave my life). It may seem unreal to some who know me because of where I am and what I came from but its true.

So how do I get this fear out of my life and learn to take a leap of faith. Well faith is exactly what I need along with a big dose of TRUST! God's reasoning is beyond our understanding and his plans will happen whether we want them to or not. So if you are like me and afraid of what the future might bring. Let go and let God handle all the hard work and trust him. I am trying my best. I will say it is the hardest thing I have ever done and that may seem unbelievable but it is. I love Jesus! But I am human living in a world of uncertainly and as long as I express my feelings to God he will help me through it all.

I have to meditate on this scripture everyday to get me through. It is on my desk along with many others.

Proverbs 3:5-6 
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him,And He will make your paths straight.


Love Always, 

Kinna 

Powerless

Think about the word powerless it means without ability, "influence" or power. I so often write on trusting God but today I thought about being powerless as a person not having any "influence" just simply trusting God and allowing no one to "influence" you other wise. After reading a post on Instagram today I realized that the thing I need work on more is trusting God. I can't walk around and say I am a Christian and I believe that Jesus died on the cross for MY sins and rose on the third day and not trust him, that is insane! 

God has all the power he tells the wind which way to blow and has control over everything on this earth. Which means I am powerless, I have no "influence" on God's decisions. Now don't take that out of context I simply mean that we have no control over our lives. We were sent here to do his work for his will. 

So we must stop trying to control people and situations in our lives. Let go of trying to control a person in hopes that they will do what you want them to do. If God wanted you to be involved or with that person he will make certain of that. If God wanted you to have a new car he will make certain of that. Don't rush it. Be silent and still in God's presence and allow him to perform miracles and bring unbelievable happiness in your life. And all at the same time focused on him. I read something today in my daily devotional that said "pray while focusing on God's Greatness, our troubles will shrink to proper proportions." -- see we are praying and focusing on our problems, I always say we because I include myself with every blog I write. Instead we should be focused on who God is and all that he is capable of doing. 

As I write this blog I give my worries to God and know that he knows what's best for my life. He knows what makes me happy and what makes me sad. And unlike like any person in this world, he always and always wants best for you so trust him with your life and realize that you are powerless and the alpha and the omega has all the POWER! 

and said: “ Lord, the God of our ancestors, are you not the God who is in heaven? You rule over all the kingdoms of the nations. Power and might are in your hand, and no one can withstand you. (2 Chronicles 20:6 NIV)

Love always, 

Kinna 😘

Ugh Not in the Mood to Pray!

Some days I will admit I don’t feel like praying. I have so much on my heart and mind that it “seems” like it would take too much of my strength to even utter a word to begin praying. But once I let go of my selfish mindset and truly think about how the prayer will ease my mind. I let it all flow out.

Prayer changes things and prayer is our one connection through Jesus Christ to get to God.  

Prayer is so important it builds your relationship with God and shows him that no matter what is going on we desire to take our worries, concerns and burdens to him. A lot of times we run to our friends and family with our problems but never take them to God. The one person who is omnipresence and knows exactly what we are feeling and going through; he is just waiting for us to talk to him. He will guide us in the direction that will be less stressful.

James 4:3 says “When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.”

Ensure that when you pray your motives are not directed to your own selfish ways. Pray that whatever it is to glorify God and only him. Less of you and more of him! At times we are so busy worried about getting what we “want” (because it is not a need) that we forgot about God and what it may do to his heart. Be intentional with your prayers; intentionally praying that God will work everything out for his greater good. We sometimes pray that we get a new car, get this promotion at work or better yet praying that the person who we are so in love with will always be by our sides but we don’t pray that God will provide us with dependable and safe transportation, that God will increase our income so that we may give generously to other and at the same time maintain our own households and lastly pray that God will bless us with someone who loves Christ just as much we do (I say we because I included myself being that I am guilty of this also). Change the perspective of your prayers.

Understand also when you pray that your prayers may not be answered right away. Everything is always on God's timing and not our own. Be patient in knowing that God will provide for you when the timing is right. Every situation, every trail, every challenge, every hardship and even every good thing works out for your good.  

Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.”

I encourage you to trust God; that he will provide for you and renew your mind and heart. Pray and cry out to him all your worries. Observe the goodness that he will bring into your life and the joy that reflects from it all.

Love always,

Kinna

Alone

So I had to go out of town for my job for 2 weeks about 600 miles from home. I had a short flights the first was about 25 minutes with a hour and half lay over and the second was about a hour and 20 minutes. The whole time I was walking through the airports I was thinking OH GOSH  what am I am going to do in a city where I don't know not a soul. Yes I am staying in a really nice hotel and have a rental car to go where I need to go. But I was going to be all ALONE. 

This was the first time as a young adult that I had to really be on my own. No family, no friends, just me. Yes I have my phone, computer, iPad and all the other great stuff to keep my to connected to everyone back home. But I had no one here with my in the flesh. 

I will admit when I first got to the hotel I cried like a baby. Saying that I wanted to go home. I am the type of person who holds in all their emotions until I am alone and then let it all out. I never want anyone to see me in my vulnerable state of mind(I know you're thinking "You are being vulnerable now"...but I have been working on this for a while and I am getting better). So after about 20 minutes of having pity on myself and crying like I had just lost everything in my life. I sat up and said to myself "You can either sit here and be sad for the next 2 weeks or you can get up unpack and make yourself comfortable and make the best out of the next 2 weeks" So I got up and said a prayer to God and asked for strength, unpacked, took a shower, and relaxed! 

I thought I was alone for a moment. Until I said that quick prayer. At times in our lives we think and we may be all alone but in reality God is with us the whole time. Just talk to him and let him know why you feel alone. He will comfort you. That is what he did for me. I was missing everyone back home as soon as I walked in the hotel. I forgot to mention that before I had this big break down in the hotel I went to dinner alone; which I had never done before. I went to this little diner across the street from hotel and as I was sitting there I was thinking "Dinner alone every night" and that is when it really started to hit me. I dropped a tear and asked for my check. Then as soon I walked in the hotel room I broke down. 

The enemy wanted me to think I had no one that I was all alone with his evil thoughts. But I had a plan for him...God has me every step of the way! So I decided to make the best out it! When I got off of work today I went for a walk downtown (where my hotel is) and grabbed some food. Even chatted with my mom for most of my walk. It was so relaxing. I refuse to let the enemy think that he has the best of me. Not only that I am going to take advantage to learn all that I can for work. God provided me this opportunity and I will not let it slip out of my hands. 

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you note forsake you" 

-- Deuteronomy 31:6

Until Next Time

---Kinna 

God is Talking!

Do you every hear God talking to you. Are you listening hard enough? Are you even listening at all? Focus listen in, listen to that small voice that wants you to hear his ever command. Isaiah 55:3 tells us how to listen to God. Here is my break down...

Isaiah 55:3 “ Come to me with ears wide open. Listen, and you will find life. I will make an everlasting covenant with you. I will give you all the unfailing love that I promised David”  

Come to me---first we must come to God. You can’t listen to someone if you are not close to them.  It’s like being in the same house with someone you're upstairs and they’re downstairs; when they are talking you can't hear them because you have distance between you two.

With ears wide open---you have to come ready to listen. Going back to the house example; you walk downstairs and you are now in the same room with the person but you aren’t listening; you have blocked them out. Or simply not realizing that they are talking to you.

Listen --- there is a difference between listening and hearing. Hearing is simply hearing the sounds, the noise, and the vibration of one’s voice. Listening however is processing those sounds, noises, and vibrations.

And you will find life --- not "YOU MIGHT" but "YOU WILL" find life. In order to find something you have to be in the search for it. Be in the search to find life from God. If you put in the work he will be glad to give you what you deserve. The flesh that our spirit resides in is dead. There is nothing good that comes from the flesh. Until you know God and seek his heart you are dead. But if you search for him, get to know him, love him, and let him love you...him he will give your life.

I will make an everlasting covenant with you --- he WILL! Not he might but he will make an everlasting covenant. Image something never ending, endless and eternal how amazing is that God is willing to give you something forever no take backs it’s yours. He is able and willing to make a bond with you for the rest of your life on this earth and in heaven. These are things that only God can promise and a promise that will not be broken.  Think about how many times someone has promised you this or that and defaulted on that promise. Their word is no longer bond to you but God can supply you with an everlasting covenant just you and him. 

I will give you all the unfailing love --- here it is again with God saying that he WILL! Not maybe but he will give. When someone gives you something it is yours to keep. Never have to give it back most of the time they just require you to be grateful. Think about a time that you gave someone something weather big or small and they do not say thank you. Do you remember how you felt when they didn’t show any gratitude for what you did out of the kindness of your heart. That is how God feels every day when we do not show our gratitude to him whether it’s not spending time with him daily, disobeying him, or giving him praise when you are at the height or lowest of your life. Unfailing love…when I think of unfailing of think of consistent; Love that will never go away no matter how we act or react. When we think of human love it is most of the time not all the time conditional. We like to say unconditional love but in reality it’s not. Because if someone breaks our heart or does something to us unruly we begin to put those conditions on the love that we said was "unconditional" Not saying that we don't try our hardest not to but we are all human. God is saying I do not give out condition love I give out straight unconditional, unfailing and consistent love. You cannot get that from this world!

I promised David --- think of all the sinful things that David did but yet God still promised unfailing love to him. All the bad that we do, all the things we ignore when God speaks to us. God still promises unfailing love!

Life can sometimes break you down, broken beyond repair but if we take the time and effort to listen to God he can repair all! Take time to pray to God right now. Tell him everything that is on your heart. Talk to him like you are talking to a good friend. When you are finish just sit in his presence silently and wait to hear his voice. Block everything and everyone else out. Put your phone away, turn off the tv and the music, and listen. The next time something is heavy on your heart go tell God first! He already knows what is going on he just wants you to need him. So when you leave out a part of the story because you are so upset or broke he already knows that part. What an amazing God. Trust him and listen to all that he has to say to you.

Love Always Kinna!

Fighting God

When you read the title of this blog you were probably thinking I would never fight God. But if you really think about it we do it so often its like second nature. Gods tells us to stop and we go, God tells us to move and we stay, God tells us to do many things and we play tug a war to get our way! Instead of listening the first time we keep it going and then have to suffer consequences for our actions. 

Key phase is get "OUR" way! We so often put ownership on everything we THINK we provided for ourself but God gave us everything that we have. Our life, car, job, house or apartment, clothes, everything! I continue to say us and we because I'm guilty also!

So the reason I decided to write this blog post was for all who are fighting God when it comes to a relationship that you know is so toxic for your life but you ignore the poison knowing that its harming you mentally. For example: 

- You know he/she doesn't care but you continue give your all.

- You know he/she has no real intentions with you but you keep dreaming and hoping (STOP!) 

- You know he/she is talking to other people and you act like your the only one (You're not!) or simply ignore it.

- You know that you both are going down two different paths in life that just do not mix.

- The biggest: You have so much history with the person that you don't want to let the relationship/situationship go down the drain (let it go down the drain in the sewer and die! Lol no really I'm serious let it go down the drain!) 

Situationship is defined as two people talking, hanging out, dating and/or friends with benefits but has no title and not really progressing! One person pretty much doesn't not want to make a real commitment to the other. SITUATIONSHIP! 

I have a been a situationship for so long its normal to me but I realized this is not normal. I questioned myself recently when did this become normal to me and how. I didn't even have an answer for myself and that hurt to know I may not have cared about myself to stop the relationship before it turned into a "situationship". So I had to come to grips with myself that a change needed to be made and it all starts with my being honest with myself and the other person. Praying to God earneslty to change my heart and keep me strong enough to let go and allow him to take control and trust him wholeheartedly.  

I say all this to make a point that we must stop fighting God and staying in relationships/situationships because we are trying to fight through the struggle and just have high hopes for everything working out for the better. When in reality its never going to work because its not in God's plan and we know this!

So be honest with yourself, let go, and give up the fight. And if you're having difficulties pulling your words together to break things off pray about it. I promise God will give you all the words. 

Proverbs 3:5&6 says it best! 

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding 6 in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your path straight 

Until next time! 

Sherkinna 

The 45 Day Product Challenge

I am currently transitioning from relaxed hair to natural hair. This is a journey for sure! Today I pulled out the random products that I have brought over the last year or two. And I must say it was wayyyy too many so I challenged myself to use the same products for the next 45 days and see what they do to my hair. Did they dry out my hair? Did they add moisture? Love or hate relationship with the product? 

Today is January 2nd, 45 days from this date is February 16th. Below are all the products that I will be using and I will tell you exactly how I will be using them. 

Let's start! 

This is the best Cowash I have ever used.  I will be using this in place of Shampoo for the next 45 days. 

Leave-in by Carol's Daughter 

Leave-in by Cantu 

A little Shea Butter Oil love this stuff 

Can never have too much oil! Argan oil 

I plan to make Whipped Shea Butter with this Shea Butter! I will post a blog when I do. 

 Usually I wear my hair in a high bun so I use lots of gel everyday because I like my hair laiddd! Lol 

I use this gel to lay down my edges at night and wrap my hair up. 

This edge control was what I use to use but it was way to hard for my hair and I didn't like it so I decided to switch to the one below...

This stuff is EVERYTHING! 

These are all the products I will be using for the next 45 days! More than likely I will go out and purchase more Cowash just because Sally's Beauty Supply Store had it for $5.99 and usually its about $9 or $10! 

Wish me Luck! 

Here is a picture of me with the bun that I normally wear :)